8th August 2012
I dreamt that I was possessed by the goddess Kali. I remember walking through a street that looked like London or Paris and then walking into a chilled-out restaurant which was half-full. I remember having a small curved blade in my hand I don’t know where it came from. But I remember feeling like I wasn’t myself..as if somebody was inside me. and I had unusually long hair. felt oddly nervous and did not feel like I was in control. It looked like some restaurant right in Delhi. all of a sudden I realised I was in Delhi now.
and then the killing commenced. one after the other after another untill I actually felt sick of it. I was decapitating people in some weird frenzied state like I was enjoying an orgy of blood and violence. It felt disgustingly disturbing but I somehow found comfort in the fact that it couldn’t possibly be me, that I was human and no human could ever possibly be capable of such an horrendous act. I don’t know how but I really felt conflicted. and also at the same time that it felt sick, it also felt a bit liberating.
It felt like I was finally breaking free of something, like I was ascending into a higher state of consciousness. I don’t know if it was real. What I remember is I was very absorbed in the dream. It wasn’t really lucid even though I tried hard to get control but wasn’t able to. And finally after about 35 heads were decapitated and a river of blood had literally accumulated inside the entire place did the possessed spirit or soul or whatever the hell it was did feel mellow and satisfied. I don’t know if it was angry or if it was trying to break free of the clutches of reality. I’m not sure. but what I do know is my brain’s been really tripping out the past week dreaming about all kinds of gods and goddesses, pilgrimages weird spiritual hidden messages. but with this blog, I will try and explore what I feel every time I have one of these weird dreams and see where it takes me.
It’s 2 am right now. and about time I sleep and go back to my ‘dream state’ to further explore the vast stretchable elastic fabric we call ‘reality’.
Off to never-never land.