The Secret Room

It has been a while since I posted anything here other than poetry.

Today I must talk about a recurring dream (one of a series of several different ones that recur) You might be wondering why I would talk about my dreams on a random blog. The thing is, I’ve always felt it in life that there are things we as humans don’t comprehend yet. Things….that are just there, they’ve been in front of us for thousands of years. We’ve just forgotten how to look for them and where to look for them. Dreams exist at a strange place consciously and I believe they always give us clues to understand our universe, which is why this narration.

Also, in case the internet or humankind as a civilization ever ends, I hope that in some place this blog post will be archived and stored, hidden for millennia. A record of it might help someone to retrace steps.

Somewhere, there is a building with a secret room. To the normal person, it’s nothing but a wall next to a lift. They’re blue-marble granite-ish. Depending on the path one takes to reach that particular place and the identity of that person, the room may or may not reveal itself to you. But if you truly are supposed to be there, you shall see the wall slowly dissolving in front of you with nothing but a white cube in holographic form in front of you.

Now imagine, you weren’t expecting it and you were actually just staring at the wall. You get curious. You push the cube, the tiles in the wall slide up to reveal a strange new world. It is quite unlike the world we know right now. The sky is all around. There are white blocks, black blocks. At first, there doesn’t seem to be a concrete ground and yet, these structures flourish in mid-air on some kind of quantum alien technology. I am not sure how it works, really.

All I know is. I push the button and I walk into that world. the wall seals behind me. I do not know how I intend to return back.

Before I move forward, I must reveal that all of this came to me in a vivid dream which was I daresay, quite life-like. What happened next, has become a bit hazy right now. Which is why I’m writing this, before I completely forget.

I walk around, explore for a while. It seems hovering and flying in this world is effortless. I jump from block to block, structure to structure. Perhaps gravity works in a different way here. On one hand, I wish I could have explored this world more, and on the other hand it would terrify me to ever think about the prospect of going back, partly due to what happened later.

I soon met creatures in this world, quite unlike anything we know in this world. Most of them seemed to be compassionate and alway intended to help you find your way through this strange twilight-zone-ish world that sometimes would not make sense. Often things would be upside down or rotated at an angle that seemed to defy all the physics I know. But somehow, I navigated. The sky was beautiful and the world was full of strange, new possibilities that kept pulling me into it. Deeper and deeper. I do not know how much time passed. I was asleep maybe for 3 hours. But the time that seemed to have passed during that time seems to me more like 3 millenniums. I learnt things, how to build ideas and cities and how to break them down. How to rearrange these floating structures and put them back together. Maybe I was learning how to be an architect, maybe I was just figuring out the shit in my head, I do not know for sure. But what stuck with me was this intense feeling of clarity and unification. Like, anything was possible to a large extent if I could learn how to break it down and then put it together.

And one odd day, I did venture back and wonder whatever happened to that sealed wall I found my way in to this world from. I decided to find Point of Origin again. It was a terrible, terrible mistake.

These creatures that I kept finding along the way were morally good, I was sure of it and I never quite did question their motives or their agenda because I was so busy breaking things down and putting them back together that it never quite occurred to me that there is always a price to pay for your time in paradise.

I found one of these creatures back there and he whispered to me ‘you must never find your way back here again, but you inadvertently will. It is not something I expect you to comprehend currently. You have been in this world haven’t you? you are marked, friend. You must escape before it is too late’

Now, if you were in a world for 3000 years, I’m pretty sure you would be quite uncomfortable leaving it as well. And I guess partially maybe that is what karma is about. You don’t always get to choose your fate. Sometimes you must pay for your actions in past lives. Then he said to me ‘There is another cube somewhere on this block. You must activate it before it is too late, the red-dwellers are on their way, RUN! FIND IT before it’s too late and with that I sensed the world getting tainted. There were gurgles, and strange sounds of boiling, Red-orange-is pus-like liquid seeped in through the crevices of the point of origin.

I saw these creatures deforming, howling and moaning in pain. Perhaps, even paradise is prone to ugly things. I tried hard to find the cube, but with no luck. Soon these creatures were orange muscular creatures with part-human part-bull like features. And some of them carried spears and swords and they seemed to be trying to find me.

I ran, I hid but eventually they did find me around the same time I found the cube. I had a decision before me, activate the cube or arrest my fate to these creatures. Alas, I activated the cube and nothing happened.

It was too late.

And then I heard one of them shout with their deep guttural voice ‘I am here to claim you as mine, you have spent too long in this world, now you must repent and burn in hell to eternal damnation, come! Or I shall drag you with me into the great roast’

Having no other alternative, I surrendered. I was shackled in chains and dragged into a box. The box was sealed shut. Then I heard his voice again ‘Let the mighty roast begin. Suddenly the box was lit in orange, all around me were corpse-like people, half-dead half-alive, moaning and begging and pleading ‘please let us go, kill us, put us out of misery. And then the temperature turned excruciatingly high. We boiled for all eternity.

A warning, never stare at walls as you never know what you might find.

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A Really Bad Trip

5.41 am

7th September 2012

It wasn’t bad. Nor was it disturbing. It was horrible. Yes, I just woke up from a really bad trip of a nightmare. I guess the constant jamming with my band and juggling two different lives has started to take its toll on me. Man, I seriously wonder what the fuck I was on last night cos seriously, it was probably not just air after what I just experienced. Enough said, time to get to the nightmare.

It all started right before I was going to go off to sleep. I always leave my laptop on before I go off to sleep just in case I just wake up with an idea, it usually happens a lot. But yesterday night was different. all it bad luck or whatever you will, everything was positioned in my room in such a way that the light of the laptop came on things in such a way that everything made creepy shadows. The types you don’t really want to see right before you go to sleep. I tried looking up, I tried looking left they were everywhere. Maybe I was already half-dreaming by then. I’m not really sure. Because every time I looked at my chair, The shadows made it seem like a really eerie little girl was sitting on it and it was fucking scary, I tried turning to the other side and sleeping. I thought that this was the end of it all. Little did I know that it was the beginning of one of the most horrible dreams I’ve ever had. Now I’ve always been the kind of guy that likes sleeping straight. So soon I found myself looking straight up which was bad too. The combination of shadows, the fan my keyboards and the wall somehow made it look like a big creepy skull with his finger on his chin was right in front of me as if wondering what to do with a pure twisted soul such as mine. What the fuck, right.

Then there was more. The Nightmare.

It all seemed quite pleasant in the beginning. I was in college and chilling out and hanging out with my friends. we were having a pretty good time and decided to take a trip on the Metro just for the kick of it. There was so much chaos and noise, at times things used to get weird. It was not the Metro we usually use in our day-to-day lives. I had already started sensing something was off but I kept going. Deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole.

I was with a couple of college mates, it seemed. but they were the ones that usually used to make fun of me and the ones ¬†didn’t really get along with much. As in the dream just like real-life, I kept losing one after the other only to realize I was left with this guy called Amit (name changed) who was much more polite than the rest of the people I’d met up till then. Until he left somewhere without his bag. His phone was in it. I realised he forgot his phone when it started ringing. I thought of maybe picking up but I wasn’t sure since it seemed like an unknown number. But I picked it up anyway. It was my mother. the signal wasn’t good. there was weird static for the longest time after which I heard “Son. come back. Help me.” She did not say it in a normal tone. She sounded in pain and very disturbed and after that the phone just got dead and I couldn’t get it to work no matter how hard I tried. So I threw it away. I kept telling myself the Metro being completely white and purely stainless was a normal thing but I knew this shit wasn’t right. i got off on a transit station. It was Central Secretariat. I got out and everything took another new dimension. It was weird and totally barbaric. It was a huge fucking cave lit by torches and fire. Almost everybody was in rags and it looked like people were hungry and hadn’t took a bath for days. Some people were in robes too, which really creeped me out. Where the fuck was I? Central Secretariat? more like Medieval Central Secretariat! Went to catch the train to the platform. Another thing that was weird about the station was that there were too many lifts going in different directions, Diagonal,Upside down,Left,right. Everywhere. There were very few stairs but too many lifts.

Back at the platform. there was no ground below the tracks, just endless hollow black. It was scary and dark. Then I met Vikas Kalwani. and then weird shit started happening again. we took the train about five times and ended up at the same platform again and again, and I started to really get scared if we were going to be trapped in this medieval crap of a station for all eternity. That’s hen my mother just turned up at the station and asked me to come home fast. Then she went away. I really started wishing that I’d get out of this place. but alas, there was much more to come! Finally the train came and I managed to reach Lajpat Nagar…

Finally I reached Lajpat Nagar and managed to get out. I took my car and started driving in the service lane just so that I could reach home fast as the main lane was crowded as fuck. But as soon as I got on the service lane a few cars followed me and the cars in front of me slowed down a bit. I wanted to reach home fast but that was obviously not happening and this further frustrated me. So I jumped out of the car, simply because nobody was moving. Soon I realised that was the worst decision. EVER. A silver Nano was in the front of my car and a white Alto was behind the car. The guy in the white Alto was obviously a psychopath and he smashed the shit out of my car. He totally destroyed it, I have no idea why.

I got really scared, my car was fucked and I was in a relatively unknown area of Delhi. It was obviously going to be difficult since nobody there knew me and the psychopath guy was obviously going to come after me. I tried noting down his car number and it was ‘AD 0666’ Coincidence or freaky brain? No idea. I decided to start running from the place. I went into the housing society right next to the road where my accident happened. I thought of telling my parents but then decided against it as they would already be tensed as it is. I decided I could handle this by myself.

I wish I could’ve run but I just kept getting more and more lost in the endless houses and the seemingly infinite small lanes running through the entire place. I just could not find my way. Then I ran into this kid and asked him how I could reach the nearest exit. He told me he knew I crashed the car of the ‘Great Master’ and I would suffer for it eternally. I got really fucking scared. and somehow every kid I asked seemed to give more or less the same answer. Another kid said “You think you can run away from all of this and pretend like nothing’s happened? you’re just kidding yourself, you’ll never get out of here, not alive anyway”

More panic ensued. I kept trying to run left, right and centre but there was no way out. Soon I started to give up and came near a park. I saw a lot of those kids staring at me like they were angry at me. Like they were going to beat the shit out of me. The looked pissed. They started shouting ‘THERE HE IS! THERE HE IS!” and soon it tuned into an endless chant. and then I saw it the Alto was right there. I knew I was fucked now. The psychopath guy came upto me and told me I had some explaining too and he didn’t seem too happy, He wanted to literally kill me with his bare hands. He said “saale behenchod meri gaadi ko haath kaise lagaa liya tunayy, aaj tereko bataata hu” (literally translates to ‘sister fucker, how dare you touch my car) and then he told me to come into the park since he knew I couldn’t run anywhere anyway. He wanted to have a duel to the death. He asked me what my problem was and I abused him and told him it was his fault. At the same time I started to write a text to my parents. He asked me if I thought my parents could save me. Apparently I was in some pretty deep shit. All the kids were his disciples or some shit because they seemed to be really brainwashed by the guy.

And then the weirdest thing happened. He took the kids and started beating the shit out of each one of them. I realised I could still live on some borrowed time and ran again. I faintly heard him calling out “Where will you run when there’s nowhere to go!”. In my heart, I knew he was right but I didn’t want to get beaten up and killed by some raving psychopath with a sick cult of kids. But then again, there was not much else I could do. No matter which street I turned to I found one or two of those kids of his cult. and every time hey saw me, they started to shout ‘THERE HE IS! THERE HE IS!’ ¬†again. It was scary to say the least, the weird freak looks on their faces. One of them was carrying a baseball bat too. I still kept running to no avail. Soon I turned into a deserted street. There was pin drop silence and there was absolutely nobody. I knew something was off again..

And then it got pitch black suddenly. All the lights just went out and I felt helpless as fuck. I couldn’t even run. You can’t run from Blackness. it’s just everywhere. It was pitch black for five minutes. and then I heard a light bulb turn on above me. I don’t remember there being light bulbs in the sky but apparently my nightmare had different rules. and then I saw the guy from the Alto walking slowly towards me saying ‘I told you. You just cannot escape no matter how hard you try. Futile, isn’t it?’

Black Out.

Just A Nightmare, it was. and a scary one, that. Never again, I wish